So, I get this email from one of my dancer's mom. She writes to me telling me that her 5 yr old puts up a fight to go to dancing and she doesn't know what to do. She wants to pull her out but is concerned about having to pay for the costume I just ordered.
The thing is the dancer is completely fine, I had no idea there was a problem, she laughs, works hard and is really talented. She seems to enjoy class when she is there. I am strongly against quiting something in the middle of the year or season. I believe that if you let them quit something they have started your teaching them that they don't have to be responsible, dependable or work hard. Commitment is important to me and I don't think a 5 yr old should be calling the shots with her tantrums. I know it's tiring to fight with them but really, whose the boss? One of the reason's I feel so strongly about this is because once they perform, it's a different story. They want the performance without the hard work, and dancing is work and fun. I'm a new mom and haven't' had to experience these things with my kids yet, but I hope I can have enough energy to not give in, isn't it easier in the end? Not only do I want to teach my students how to dance but also how to be good people and quiting is something that will prevent them from great experiences when they are adults. What do you think, and how do I go about confronting the mom without offending her?
6 comments:
I think you're right about not quitting. Parents can be very defensive about their kids, but I'd just let this mom know what your observations are about her daughter in class. It sounds like the 5 year old knows how to play on her mom's emotions, which is one very challenging thing about being a mom! I think if they stick with it they will be happy in the end.
I like having your perspective as a teacher and I am totally going to apply your no quitting at least until the end of the year/season of something you've committed to.
My main concern with Miriam is that if she is trowing a tantrum, or crying, that the teacher will be annoyed having to deal with it. Miriam usually snaps out of things once I am gone but the initial 5 min can be rough. I would love if a teacher would say to me "just go, she will be fine".
Why are you telling everyone that I want to let Ali quit? Just kidding. I'm the mom who just doesn't care if a 5 year old doesn't want to do something anymore. They have short attention spans and will learn that they don't get the fun stuff (performances) without the work. Ali wanted to quit a few months ago and I just realized that she was really tired. I left it up to her and always reminded her when class was coming up and after a few weeks she missed it. Maybe this girls just needs a break.
I know it messes you up with choreography though. I would not CONFRONT her - I would make sure she pays for the costume. Maybe if she has to do that she will make her stay.
I would definetly let the mom know that her daughter is fine in class. I hate it when people just won't make a decision and leave you hanging. Either do it or don't. I'm totally in to having the kids work through the tough spots when they are not liking something so much. You don't need to deal with wishy washy parents or kids, they can dance for crappy studios.
Elisa, I would love it if the parents would just throw the kid in and leave. I can handle it and usually withing 5 minutes they are laughing and having a great time.
Thanks for the card, it was nice
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